Can't Live Without You
by sik chix
Summary: After a painful breakup, Hermione is finally moving on with her life. But on the night of the Yule Ball fate brings her back into the arms of the man she loves. Can they make it work?
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer**: I don't own these, please don't sue!

**A/N**: Oki this is an edited version of a fic I posted awhile back.

When Harry and I broke up I fled to the one place I thought nobody would be. I didn't want the world to see my weakness. He had this hold on me that I just couldn't fight. But why did it have to end? We were happy together…right? But then, why didn't it work? Something wasn't right. Was I too fat? Too thin? Too ugly? I should've seen the signs. He distanced himself from me somehow. He wouldn't touch me the way he used to. The simple things he used to do to show me he cared, like, take my hand when I was afraid….he didn't do those anymore. Maybe I was too forward with him. I didn't think I was coming on too strong. I've never even told him I loved him before…

I sat at my usual table in the corner and cried until I was breathless. The library is usually my sanctuary from an otherwise cruel world. But today I would find no peace. I thought I'd find some solitary there…how wrong I was. Whilst contemplating my losses I felt a warm hand upon my shoulder. My heart raced. "Harry?" No. Of all the people I didn't want to see me like this…

Viktor Krum. Argh he irritates me so much! The way he struts around like everyone loves him and treats girls like objects. Just because he's a famous quidditch player! Not everyone cares you know!

"Hey are you alright?" he asked with a sincerity that was probably fake.

_Shouldn't he be practicing his smile in the mirror?_

"Yeah" I sniffle, "Just fantastic."

"I take it you and that boy… what is his name…Potter…broke up?"

"Yeah you could say that."

"Feel like talking about it?" he offers.

_Stupid, stupid question! Well, I suppose he's trying._

"No, not really." I manage a half-hearted smile.

He decides to steer the conversation elsewhere, "This library is amazing isn't it?"

"What are you doing in a library anyway? You're not exactly the literary type." I couldn't help it. I was in a bitter mood.

To my surprise he was rather taken back by my harsh generalization, "Oh no I am into all kinds of literature. Have you read, 'Hogwarts, A History' by any chance?"

Shock. Sheer unadulterated shock.

"Yes, it's my favourite."

At the time, I thought he was amazing. I'd never met anyone who appreciated fine literature the way I do. We'd meet several times a week just to talk. Well, he did most of the talking actually. I'd just listen. He had so much to say...it captivated me!

Oh yeah, and then there was this one day when…

"Hermione, I am only going to ask you this once…and I hope you will say yes." He said to me sternly.

"_I wonder what it could be…"_I thought to myself. _"I hope it's nothing too serious like…marriage! Oh no! I'm much too young…Hermione, you're jumping to conclusions again!" _

"Will you join me at the Yule Ball?"

I breathe a HUGE sigh of relief. "Of course!" I smile cheerfully.

As I laid in bed that evening, I contemplated the likeliness of the afternoon's events. Of course I was excited, but it was bittersweet. I had always pictured myself by Harry's side at the Yule Ball. I imagined him pinning a flower to my dress and holding me close to him as we danced. I can feel his breath on my shoulder. His scent fills my senses. We had planned to go together since we found out about the tournament. I guess if we'd been able to foresee future happenings, we wouldn't have been so naïve…

Naturally, Ron was horrified. "You're going with Krum?" I really shouldn't have told him.

"Yes" I answer calmly, "Last time I checked, it was a free country, or has that changed now too?"

"You're fraternising with the enemy!"

"Enemy?" my blood boiled, "Enemy? The one person who was there for me when I needed it most? I'll tell you who the enemy is Ronald. Harry James Potter, that's who! He broke my heart when he decided that I wasn't good enough for him! Well I've found someone who likes me for who _I_ am and you are **not **taking that away from me!"

"It takes two to make a relationship work Hermione." Ron said knowingly, "You of all people know that. Some things aren't meant to be. Sometimes you just have to let things go."

I hate to admit it, but he had a valid point. Stupid Ron. He can be so smart when you least expect it. I thought I was over Harry, but it was clear that I wasn't .Well that would all end soon. He'd see who's missing who…


	2. Chapter TWO

**Disclaimer**: I'm not J.K Rowling. Therefore I need not say it again.

**A/N**: I know the italics seem kind of random but I've put the most personal/inward thoughts in italics to differentiate from thoughts at the time and the thoughts of Hermione's recounting. I can't really explain my mind on paper so I hope you get what I mean. And if not, I hope you enjoy the story anyway.

As I stood at the top of the marble staircase nothing could wipe the smile off my face. I looked toward the bottom of the staircase to see Viktor beaming up at me. It was everything I could ever dream for. The guy standing at the bottom was different, which saddened me, but by the end of the night, I was determined to be absolutely smitten with Viktor and forget all about the scar faced green eyed monster I once knew.

"You look beautiful." Viktor whispered in awe when I reached him. He pinned a pink corsage on my dress and kissed me gently.

"You ready?" I ask eagerly.

He looked at me with confusion. "No sweetie, we have to wait until all the other couples are seated. We make an entrance and take the first dance. I thought I told you."

Clearly he hadn't. He could tell by the look of fear in my eyes. "Who's we?" I ask tentatively.

"The contestants and their dates"

I could've murdered him but I figured it wouldn't go down too well with Dumbledore. Not to mention every witch in London.

"I can't dance"

He seemed shocked, "Everyone can dance. You'll be fine, I promise" he reassured me.

I decide to let it go. "_I'll chide him after I make an idiot of myself_" I tell myself. I then make the mistake of looking over at the other couples. Inevitably enough I see Harry. With Parvati. _Great…what is he, desperate? I suppose I'm just jealous to see him in the arms of another girl. _I quickly turn away. It hurts to even look at him.

Viktor sees him too and takes me by the hand. I look up at him and smile. Deep down inside, I wish that was me on Harry's arm.

"We're ready to go" Viktor tells me and leads me into The Great Hall. Everyone is watching us. I catch sight of Ron with a girl who looks strangely like Parvati. He gives me a quick thumbs up. I smile gratefully at him. Viktor then smiles his beautiful smile and tells me to "Just follow him"

I will admit dancing is not as hard as it seems but I was relieved when it was all over and the other couples began to ease their way on to the floor.

The evening started out perfectly. But me being Hermione Granger am prone to bad luck. One dance with Fluer Delacour and Viktor was under her spell. So once again, I am left stranded and forgotten. I thought Viktor was different, but it turns out he's just as I suspected. I should have known better than to trust him, but that's the way it goes. I am beyond caring how stupid I must look. I must've sat at that table for hours just staring into nothingness. Harry was with Ron for most of the evening so that option was out. Just as I was about to leave, I heard a painfully familiar voice in my ear.

"May I have this dance?"

Great. Just the person I wanted to see. Harry.

"Why should I dance with you?"_ I can't believe he expects me to forgive him and fall helplessly into his arms. This is so typical of him._

"I deserved that" he admits, "Please 'Mione.?"

_He's so cute when he begs... and at least he admitted that he was a jerk…kind of._ I reluctantly hold out my hand.

Harry leads me onto the dance floor. The moment I feel his arms around my waist I am drowning under hisspell. The heat of his body against mine comforts somewhat. I tremble as he touches my face gently. I find myself lost in his eyes. I desperately want to refuse him because I know the power he has over me…but I cannot. He does something to me that I am powerless over. _Why do I let him do this to me? Why can't I fight back?_ The silence between us is awkward. But, in a way, just being in his presence makes it all worthwhile.

"You look beautiful" he tells me, pushing a lone strand of hair behind my ear, "And your teeth look different somehow."

I smile, "I charmed them. Please don't tell my parents though."

_When I look into his eyes, I feel safe. How can I throw away something that's roots are endless?_

Suddenly, I have the urge for answers.

"Harry why didn't it work?" _I have to know._

He sighed. I could tell he's been dreading this question, "I was a fool Hermione," he answered. He was ashamed. I could see it in his eyes. I feel a sense of regret now for resenting him the way I did. _I never realised how much this has hurt Harry_. _My heart aches for him. He's hurting just as much as I am. Maybe even more…_

"I shouldn't have let you get away."

"I have been selfish Harry" I admit, "It never occurred to me how much this has hurt you. I am so sorry for the way I treated you. And I _do_ miss you. I miss feeling your arms around me in winter to keep me warm and I miss the taste of you kiss, the smell of your hair. But, what if we don't work out and the same thing happens again?"

"Please don't feel bad Hermione. This mess is entirely my fault. I am so sorry 'Mione." I watched as he leant down towards me. My heart raced. "Do I want this?" I thought frantically. His lips met mine and we shared the most beautiful and delicate kiss. "_Oh yes, I want this_."

The very floor beneath my feet seemed to shake, "Oh _Harry_" I utter breathlessly. And then, I was his.

"Come on, we should go. It's getting late." He said, taking me by the hand. I snapped back into reality and realised that the majority of the school had already gone to bed.

When we reached the top of the staircase he whispered a soft, "Goodnight" in my ear and headed towards the boys dormitory.

"Harry wait" I spoke up.

He turned to face me, "Yes?" he asked, his eyes bright with curiosity.

"I had a really nice time with you tonight." I smile at him.

He smiled and walked towards me, "I'm glad. I've missed you 'Mione." I slipped my arms around his neck and nuzzled him gently. I smile as his scent fills me. I can feel him shudder ever so slightly. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine. His kiss filled my whole body with warmth, despite the winter cold outside. I wanted nothing more than that kiss to last forever.

When at last we pulled away, Harry whispered to me, "I love you Hermione. I'll never stop loving you."

And that was the moment I knew we'd be together forever.


	3. Chapter THREE

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em.

**A/N**: Oki now this is the whole fiasco from Harry's POV. If it gets repetitive for you, don't read it but I like to show more than one side to the story, to show how Harry's feeling. So, read on my chums! P.S. thanks be to Jessie for the Apricot! (she knows what I mean)!

Why did I do it? Why did I have to ruin the one thing that was perfect in my life? The words left my mouth before I knew a reason why. Was I afraid of commitment? They say commitment is a man's greatest weakness. I guess they were right. Whatever it was, it hurt her. I saw it in her eyes. I can read her like a book. It hit hard. The guilt I harbour is greater than anyone will ever know. I can't believe I fell into the trap. I disillusioned myself into believing that I didn't love her, but the fact is, I've never loved anyone more. My heart cries out for her. She's all I think about.

"Just do it mate" Ron coaxed me, "How is it going to look if a contestant shows up dateless?"

I breathe in deeply and approach Parvati who is with Lavender and brace myself for the inevitable…giggles.

"Hi Parvati"

The duo giggled faintly. "_Great, here we go." _I think remorsefully

"Hi Harry, what do you need?" she asked innocently.

"Um well I was wondering, if you don't have a date already, if you would like to..."

"I'd love to" she replied before I could finish, smiling sweetly.

"Great" I manage a smile, "I just need one more favour though."

"What's that?"

"Lavender, would you mind going with Ron to the ball?" I ask.

"Sorry Har', I already have a date." Lavender replied apologetically.

"But he's welcome to go with my twin sister, Padma." Parvati added, "She's a Ravenclaw. I don't think she has a date yet."

"You have a twin sister?" I couldn't help asking, "Uh...I mean, thanks! I'll let him know."

**Later that evening. **

It's a lonely night by the fire. I can't sleep. My head is swimming with images of Hermione. It's times like these that I remember how we'd sit by the fire and sit in silence, just happy to be in each other's presence…

_Flashback_

"_Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" I kiss her cheek gently. _

"_Yes darling, five minutes ago" she chuckled, "But I never tire of hearing it." _

"_Cute" I mutter, ruffling her hair playfully. _

_Silence. I listen to the steady rhythm of her breath. I watch her chest rise and fall evenly. She smells like apricot. She always smells divine. I play gently with her hair, entwining the strands around my fingers. I pay extra care not to hurt her. She's too precious. Her skin is as soft as velvet. I press my lips softly to her cheek again. I feel her shudder. Did I do that?_

"_You OK sweetheart?" I ask her._

"_Yeah. Just a little cold." She replied with a "don't worry" smile. _

_I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer. I see that the fire has gone out. I guess neither of us were paying attention to what was happening. It didn't matter. When I was with her, the outside world could never hurt me. No matter who was against me. I silently hope she feels the same way. _

_I look down. She has fallen asleep in my arms. She looks so peaceful. I trace her lips with my fingertips. I kiss her forehead ever so gently. I don't want to wake her. _

"_I love you," I whisper._

_But she never heard me…_

_End flashback_

Love makes a person foolish I guess. I see the spot where we'd sit not that long ago and I realise for the first time that I am alone.

**The Day of the Yule Ball**

"Harry!" I hear a voice cry out in desperation, which I presume to be Ron.

"Yes Ron?"

"Please help!"

I walk into the dorm to a sight for sore eyes. Ron is attempting to charm the frills of his dress robes.

"Ron, mate." I chuckle, "You're fighting a losing battle.

"Shut up!" he yelled, frustrated.

"Why don't you ask…" I can't go on. _Even to utter her name is hurtful_.

"Hermione?"

"Uh, yeah" I reply, uncomfortably.

"Can't," he said bluntly.

"Why?"

"We had a disagreement."

That doesn't surprise me, "What was it about this time?"

"We had a fight about who was the enemy, you or Krum. I told her that maybe she should just let things go. She admitted I was right and is now too embarrassed to go near me. That girl hates to be wrong."

"So…she still hates me?"

" 'fraid so mate."

"I can't believe she's going with that creep." I am furious, "He's so transparent. She'll only get hurt…"

_Who am I kidding? I'm no better than he is…_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four.

**Disclaimer:** They're not mine and they never were.

I waited nervously in the entrance hall. _Parvati is practically jumping out of her skin and to be honest, it's really annoying me. Can't this girl stand still for five minutes? _I try to block it out.

My attention is drawn elsewhere. I see Hermione standing there with Krum. She looks completely terrified. Nothing was holding me back from walking over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist and whispering sweet nothings in her ear…except of course the fact that she hates me and would probably hex me if I went anywhere near her. _I don't see him trying to calm her down._ She has terrible stage fright. The idea of dancing in front of three wizarding schools is probably killing her. She looks over and I catch her glance for a moment. Although she turns away quickly, I cannot bring myself to do the same.

Even while we are dancing I cannot look away. Parvati tried her hardest to hold my attention. I think I upset her sitting down after one dance and refusing to move. I didn't feel like celebrating that night. She eventually got fed up and went off with a wizard from Durmstrang. I didn't even notice she was gone until ten minutes after she left. Quite frankly, I didn't care. I couldn't find Hermione on the dance floor. I saw Krum dancing with Fluer DeLacour and I knew somewhere there had to be a crying Hermione.

My train of thought was broken when Ron sat down next to me, "What happened to your date?" he questioned me.

"She got fed up with my Hermione watching." I reply.

"I might've known. Everyone knows you still love her"

I sigh, "Yeah everyone but her." I steer the conversation elsewhere, "What about your date?"

"Eh, what can I say? She was a snob." He said, unruffled.

"Haha, must be a Patil thing" I scoffed.

"Hey Ginny!" Ron called out to his younger sister.

She stood at the end of the table we were sitting at, "Hey guys, where are your dates?"

Ron rolled his eyes, "Bad blood." He muttered, "So what's up my little sis, you having fun?"

"Tonnes!" she replied, her eyes brightening, "Neville's having a little down time. He spun me too fast and we went crashing into Dumbledore and McGonagall. He'll be back soon though."

"Ha! Sounds like our Neville." Ron laughed.

"He's a sweet guy though." Ginny blushed at the thought of what she just said.

"Ooh, do you have a crush?" I teased her, smiling wickedly.

"Maybe…" she trailed off, "Wanna dance Ron?"

"Sure babe." He turns to me, "Duty calls."

"Have fun guys!" I call after them.

Now is the perfect time in pursuing my investigation. It didn't take long for me to spot her sitting alone. She'd been crying…

Before I know what I'm doing, I'm standing behind her. I'm getting closer. I lean down and whisper in her ear, "May I have this dance?" and step back really quickly because I know I've made a terrible mistake. She'll probably look at me with contempt and tell me she never wants to see me again. Then it really would be the end. No more hanging on to a lingering thread of hope that maybe she'll forgive me for being a total jerk.

Well, she _did_ look at me with contempt.

"Why should I dance with you?" she challenged me.

"I deserved that," I admitted. I suppose I was being a little insensitive just waltzing back into her life and expecting forgiveness_. I probably should've thought this through._ "Please 'Mione?" I resorted to begging, which is always an embarrassing alternative. Thankfully, it worked.

She reluctantly accepted my hand and I led her to the floor. I wrapped my arms around her waist. It was a strange sensation being so close to her again. I felt the heat of her body against mine. It comforted me somewhat. Her heart beat steadily against mine. I could feel her sweet breath against my chest. Her scent blew me away. She smelt beautiful. She _looked _beautiful.

Awkward silence. She must've been thinking. If only I could have heard those thoughts, I'd have been more prepared for what was to come.

"Harry, why didn't it work?"

The question I'd been dreading most. "I was a fool Hermione," I couldn't even bring myself to look at her. "I shouldn't have let you get away." There was no excuse for the way I had treated her. I only wished there was some way of making it right…

"I have been selfish Harry. It never occurred to me how much this has hurt you. I am so sorry for the way I treated you. And I _do_ miss you. I miss feeling your arms around me in winter to keep me warm and I miss the taste of you kiss, the smell of your hair. But, what if we don't work out and the same thing happens again?"

_How can she possibly blame herself?_ It was all my fault. Everything was my fault. She _was_ needed. I needed her more than life itself. I knew I had to apologise. I had to show her she was needed. And so, I leant down, and pressed my lips delicately against hers. I pulled her as close to me as possible. I never wanted to let go.

"Oh _Harry_!" she uttered breathlessly when we had parted. I don't think I've ever done that to her before. It was a nice feeling.

I looked around to find that the Great Hall was nearly deserted. I decided it was best to take Hermione back to the dormitories. It was getting late.

I didn't want to push anything so when we reached the top of the staircase I whispered a soft, "Goodnight" and made my way towards my dorm. I so desperately wanted to kiss her just once more but I thought that it was enough for now. But when I heard her sweet voice behind me calling out my name softly, I was filled with such warmth, I had to have her. I smiled and turned back to her.

"I had a really nice time tonight Harry."

I smiled and stepped towards her. I knew a chance had arisen and I was not letting it pass by. "I'm glad. I've missed you 'Mione" I confess. She then slinks her arms around my neck and nuzzles me gently. I shudder softly. I could feel her smile in the dark. I begin to plant soft kisses long her neckline tracing up to her lips and before I know what I'm doing, I plant my lips upon hers one more time. I feel her pull my body closer to hers. I suddenly know that she needs me as much as I need her.

When we parted I knew was the time to tell her. "I love you Hermione. I'll never stop loving you."

And that was the moment I knew we'd be together forever.


End file.
